Proof! I did it. I signed up for my very own library card. Luckily, I remembered to bring my utility bill. Cleveland librarians are steadfast bitches. Good reason, I suppose. At least now they know I am responsible enough to rent a place with electricity.
The good news (yes, more good news!): I was able to unload all the books I've been hoarding in my car. The maintenance man there assured me they do not throw away books. If they can't use them, they find a place to donate them. I was so relieved. And I told him I'd be back with more. He looked pretty astounded.
The bad news: I waited until a half hour before my hair appointment to drive to the library, so I did not get a chance to look around and browse and check out books as I'd originally planned. What I did see I was impressed with. The inside is bright and clean, and the walls are painted in nice, crisp colors. I am going to go back tomorrow to see more. (They can't stop me now! I'm a member!) And the smell was so good. I love books.
I wish I had a more exciting story, maybe about all the death-defying feats I had to accomplish in order to get my library card. But aside from the whole prove-where-you-live thing, it was remarkably easy. People should know that. We card holders should make it our duty to spread the power. "Why don't you have a library card, June? It's so easy to get one." Hell, it's easier than walking into Blockbuster and signing up for an account there. Talk about a hassle. And millions of people have Blockbuster accounts. Hey, Blockbuster Accounters -- you can get DVDs at the library, too! AND IT'S FREE. IT'S FREE, DUMBASSES. So why don't you get a library card? I used to be a dumbass like you. But now I have a library card. I have access to books, movies, magazines, newspapers, encyclopedias...you name it! And I PAY NOTHING!!! I AM LIBERATED!!! LIBRARIES RULE!!!